REWIND - Aurélie Madec - The Very First Dropping In Podcast!

REWIND TIME! Two and a half years ago, I paddled through an impact zone of technophobia, stagefright, and impostor syndrome to launch an experiment called the Dropping In To Power podcast. My question: Had other women's lives been transformed by surfing like mine had, and did they want to talk about it, and did anyone want to listen? Yes, yes, and yes, it turns out.

It also turns out, that transformation is never-ending.  I looked at the calendar today, and realized that more than 3 months have passed since my last podcast!

The reason is simple. I've been hypnotized. 

And, hypnotizing. 

I have touched on this in the podcast over the last months, and now it is real! I have just launched my hypnotherapy practice, which I love so much that the unthinkable has happened. I actually forgetting to surf. 

Kind of.

I'm so into what I'm learning, and doing, that I miss the window, and instead, spend time mind-surfing, and studying how hypnosis can enhance surfing - in performance and potential, in removing blocks, and in supporting mental health.  The next podcast, in fact, will be a lesson in self-hypnosis, and how you can apply these tools to improve your own surfing.

I may then do some live sessions, or more storytime, who knows? We'll see what you think!

In the meantime, the stories are so alive! I want to reshare some of the most popular episodes of Dropping In, starting with the fearless, incomparable, Aurelie, who trusted me even though I had absolutely no idea what I was doing. Until we started.

Aurélie is so vulnerable, fearless and funny - and I am forever grateful for her trusting her stories to a person who had NEVER done an interview before! If you missed this episode, you will love her. If you already love her, well, here you go! And you might also notice how far women's surfing has come in just this short time.

More info on hypnotherapy sessions: www.droppingintopower.com or email sheilagallien@gmail.com.

ORIGINAL EPISODE NOTES: My very first guest is Aurélie Madec, a born storyteller with a divine accent. Aurélie is a teacher, surfer, and mother, who sculpted her career and life around her passion for surfing.  In our conversation, she shares many pieces of her life, from her pioneering grandmother, having to save pocket money for her first board, traveling the whole world to surf, being a part of Surfing Mums in Australia, transitioning from cold water to warm and back to cold again. She also reveals her favorite surf spots on earth, how she has navigated serious injury, some deep surf wisdom, and the thrill of bringing the healing power of surfing to others. Now based in Cornwall, she volunteers locally with a surf therapy charity, https://www.waveproject.co.uk/ 

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Transcript

[00:19] Sheila: Aloha, everyone. Welcome to the dropping into power podcast. Rewind time. So, two and a half years ago, I realized I paddled out through this impact zone of technophobia, stage fright, and imposter syndrome to launch this little experiment, the dropping into power podcast. And my question really was, had other women's lives been transformed by surfing like mine had? Did they want to talk about it, and did anyone want to listen? So, yes, yes, and yes, it turns out, but also turns out that transformation is never ending. And I looked at the calendar today after running into a friend last night and realized that more than three months have passed since the last podcast wasn't really on purpose. The reason is simple. I've been hypnotized and hypnotizing, and I've touched on this in the podcast for the last few months, but now it's real. I've actually just launched my hypnotherapy practice, and I love this so much that the unthinkable has happened. I actually forget to surf, or I just miss the window. I get so lost in what I'm doing and learning that I end up doing a lot more mind surfing. And I've also spent a lot of time learning about how hypnosis can enhance surfing, because it is one of my dreams to work with surfers and also travel around the world to meet all the amazing women that I've interviewed and many, many more, maybe go to some retreats. There's a lot of other things that hypnosis works with, and I'll definitely talk more about that at another time. But I just wanted to touch in and mention that this is really where the energy's been. And in fact, the next podcast is going to be a self hypnosis training in surfing. What I'm realizing with sports performance, and this is true for athletes, surfers at every level, that there's three main categories we can work with. The first is performance and potential. So how far can we go? How good can we be? How happy can this make us? And then also in removing blocks, and we know what blocks are. And finally, in the general area of supporting our mental health, and I don't think anything brings out any apparent issues in one's mental health. And I'm not talking really clinical things, these are out of the scope of hypnotherapy, but our self esteem, our sense of identity, our just cascading or sometimes tumbling egos, and how we navigate situations in and out of the water, and how we bring really the anxieties and stressors of our lives into the water. We'll be looking for an escape, looking to have that perfect session, looking to just be reborn. And instead, the worst parts of ourselves and each other come out. So it's such a really beautiful and feels very, to me, very natural modality. And I'm really, really, really excited to share more of it. So like I said, the next episode is going to be on self hypnosis. I'm going to make sure you're going to have to not drive while you listen to that one. And then depending if people are enjoying this, I might do some live sessions if somebody wants to do that, or we might go back to story time. But right now, this is where the focus is. And also because as part of my training, I go through an internship. And during that internship, I need to offer a number of pro bono sessions. So if anybody would like to experience this sports hypnosis or really any other kind of hypnosis, you can do it for free. Just drop me an email or check out my website, which is the same. I've kept everything under dropping into power because I feel like it works with hypnosis, too. So you can go to droppingintopower.com, you can go to sheilagallion.com, or you can just email me@sheilagallionmail.com anyways, in the meantime, the stories, the women are so real, so alive. And I really want to reshare these stories. And I'm going to start with some of the most popular episodes, beginning with numero uno. The fearless, incomparable orly, who trusted me to do this. I had no idea what I was doing. I had never interviewed anybody. The tech had failed. It had been, oh, my gosh, and there she was. And she's just effervescent, fascinating, vulnerable, and brilliant. And she really showed me that I could do this. And her story's just incredible. So if you already love her, you'll love rehearing her. And if you never heard her, you're going to really love this story. She takes you on a surfolog. That would be really quite enough, and especially with the most lovely accent. So thank you so much being a part of this journey so far. It's been so cool. And honestly, when you listen back to Orly's episode two and a half years ago, you might be surprised and interested to see how far women's surfing has come even since then. How many more of us are out there? Some say for the better, some say for the worse. But how much community has erupted around this mission this call for women to go back to the sea. So thank you again for being part of this journey. I hope you enjoy Orly, and I hope that you will enjoy the self hypnosis episode coming out soon. Welcome to the dropping into power podcast, where we'll be hearing stories about the transformational power of surfing from women surfers of all ages, all levels, and all over. We'll hear about courage, commitment, struggles, frustration, epiphany, and of course, life transformations large and small. I'm your host, Sheila Galleon, and I am stoked to share these conversations full of so much passion with all of you. So aloha, and welcome to the dropping into Power podcast. I am so excited to have aurally Medek on with me today. A surfer who has literally surfed around the world and her life has been completely, completely inspired, driven, navigated through her love of surfing. And I'm really excited to hear more about her story. And just this podcast is really about how surfing has informed, transformed our lives and in the most personal ways and bigger ways, in whatever ways it's kind of formed. I'm so interested in the transformation of surfing because for me, it completely revamped my courage. It plugged me into my inner voice. It plugged me into my voice as a writer. And more than anything, it just gave me guts, you know, and tenacity. So, you know, these are some of the pieces I see kind of universally with women on the surf and women that learn as adults have a special set of challenges, and women who have somehow managed to keep surfing in their lives, also through relationships and children and jobs, is incredible commitment. So that's kind of the background. But Aurelie, I was so enchanted by your story because from the very beginning you have this incredible passion, and I was really touched by your story. I do want you to tell a little bit about your incredible parents and grandmother, but I also really want to hear about the story of your first surfboard. And just, you know, so, and I'll ask just for reference, if you don't mind disclosing how old you were when you first started surfing and how long you've been surfing.

[09:14] Aurelie: Well, I think it just started with an incredible, incredibly brave and passionate woman who's my grandmother. She's long gone now, but she was a really tenacious woman with divorce at a time when no one divorced. And it was extremely hard to divorce, and she took a big risk there and had to prove it. But she was absolutely in love with the ocean. She didn't grow up next to the ocean she moved there when she met her husband from the Alps, the mountain. But she was a big swimmer. And each summer when my parents worked for five weeks, I used to spend time in a little flat and she would take me to the beach and she was a big ocean swimmer. She will swim a few kilometers. And one day she bought me a little polystyrene board, the one that really rubbed. I don't have a leash. And I was trying to stand up on that. Ten years old was not noticing. You're supposed to lie on it. A few years later, she bought me my first body board. And then I was absolutely hooked. In France, we have an expression saying je suite en bit like Asterix and Obelix, who drink a magic potion and then he falls in the potion that delicious. So she bought my first bodyboard. And I think I started competing in bodyboarding at 14, at 1314. And I was just going in the ocean first only summers and spring, because in Brittany, north of France, it's not really, really warm. And we didn't have a very big surfing culture like Hawaii or Australia. And one day when I wanted to change my bodyboard, I asked my mum, mum, could you help me buy a new body board? My body board is really damaged. And she said, why do you want to continue lying down when you could be standing up? She said, children will keep on calling on their life. One day they stand up. So maybe you should think, reconsider and maybe try surfing. And that at first it was a little bit scary, but it's probably the best advice she's ever given me. Although I love bodyboarding, surfing was on a different level. And at that age, I was a teenager, I was 1314 in Brittany. Kelly Slater was becoming famous, and he was extremely, extremely good looking when you're a teenage girl. There was the film big Wednesday, and there was point break and lots of surf magazine and surfers journal. And I was getting pocket money. So I asked my parents if they could buy me a surfboard. My parents both had good jobs. My dad was a GP specializing in sports medicine, and my mom was a social worker and I was a nonny child. However, they said to me, you get ten francs, pocket money every week, so we would like you to stay for your surfboard. And they could have bought it probably on that day. They could have taken me, you know, drive me an hour to the big city, which had surf shop, and asked the advice to the surf shop owner, but instead they made me safe. So I was gaining ten francs, which is in english pounds is a pound. A pound. And in euros now be like euro 50. So it took two years to save for my surfboard, and I didn't go to cinema or I didn't buy those sweets or magazine, and. And I really, you know, became really proud of that. And when I had enough money, I bought a shoreboard, but I didn't have enough money for a leash or wax. I didn't. I know what wax was, but I didn't realize, you know, oh, I just have enough money for a board. And of course, I chose the wrong size board because when you're a teenager, you want to be cool and you want to be proud, and you don't want to be on a long board or something so heavy for a five foot girl that you can't carry it, you know? So I came home and so proud. I think I cried in the shop, and they must have felt so sorry for me when I had all my coins and my notes, you know, and they're like, oh, give her a leash. A poor girl. She's saved all her life. When I bought. And here we go. The third boy slept next to my bed for a few days.

[13:05] Sheila: That's it. You know, it. Like, that's. That's deep commitment before it even starts. I mean, what an incredible gift your parents gave you. It sounds like a little parenting advice for myself, but I have to do that. My daughter's clothes. I finally figured out she has to buy her own clothes. Otherwise she changes her mind every week and a half. But I'm curious. So that whole time that you were saving for the board, were you still bodyboarding?

[13:33] Aurelie: Yeah, I kept on bodyboarding, and I never, ever saw the bodyboard and the fins. I thought, you know, because I was quite confident in the ocean, and I was swimming at high school, and then I competing in swimming for high school, so I was quite a good swimmer. And due to that thought, oh, when he's six to eight foot, I'll just go bodyboarding. So I kept my bodyboard probably for ten years after starting, and by the time I save enough money, it was probably September, October, and in winter in France. It's definitely not the ideal time to learn surfing. You know, you can board a board, but you've got to learn to jog, dive a bigger board. You got to stand up. And the wetsuits at the time didn't make. They didn't make any girl wetsuits in size 14 or women. There was no at all. You know, Roxy didn't exist at the time. There was only quicksilver so I was at that time, those serve brands were non mainstream right now. And if you were wearing that, you knew someone else was a surfer. But the majority of people in France were no idea that quicksilver was a serve brand. So there was no women clothes. I was wearing really baggy, really masculine men clothes and I thought I was hyper cool in that. And I really felt defined as a teenager at different. I was, because there's no girls around were surfed and people didn't even know what surfing was. In the mid nineties in Brittany, all my parents friends say, oh, it's so cool that your daughter's got, you know, she's surfing with that big sail and turning the sail. And my parents said, no, there's no sail. They were all confused with windsurfing. And my father was windsurfing a lot. But I had to wear bloke's wetsuit and it was too tight for the hips and it was really uncomfortable. And I was the only girl in the water. And also my parents did not really fancy staying to watch me. So they just dropped me in winter and then picked me up whenever and sometimes forgot to pick me up. You know, they never ever thought I would drown it. I don't think I could leave my boy now. He's seven years old, but even when he's 1314 in the middle of winter, leaving him in 2 meters swell on his own will be quite risk taking.

[15:35] Sheila: That's actually amazing. It was a different time for parenting, for sure. And then maybe your parents didn't understand how perilous the ocean was. Or did you say your dad did windsurf?

[15:46] Aurelie: Yeah, he windsurf a lot. But when he drove me surfing, he went windsurfing elsewhere. You know, my parents were both, because they only had one child and they were big travelers, they were very sporty, but they still are and they're still travelers. But at that time, I think, you know, they had their own priority too. And we're not the kind of people in Australia, a lot of my friends, they drop, they spend their weekend in cars, driving their kids to different activities or crossing Sydney for football match and things like that. But in the nineties, a lot of parents had their life and the kids just fit in with the parents and follow what the parents were doing, right?

[16:25] Sheila: Definitely.

[16:26] Aurelie: I was doing a lot of ballet, so they were taking me two or three times a week to ballet as well. So on weekend, if they had already taken me, you know, to my drama or ballet classes, they did other things and sometimes it was freezing coming out of the water. I actually have a funny memory that just came. And sometimes I had to ask strangers to close my coat for me because I could not. My hands were so frozen, they had to close my coat or my jeans, or when I got a car later and I could drive, sometimes they had to open my car was a key because my hands were so shaking, I could not get in my car.

[16:57] Sheila: I relate to that 100%. Where I started surfing in Humboldt county, there'd be times, yeah, my hands were so numb, I certainly couldn't take off my wetsuit. And I would bring a jug of warm water, which was different than what you had the opportunity, because I would have to thaw my hands out, um, to try and get my or. Yeah, have somebody help me open it, because I couldn't. And trying to get the booties off, that's the hardest. You can't. When your hands. Your hands are so numb that you can't, um, get your booties off it. And I'm sure you didn't have booties back then.

[17:29] Aurelie: No, no, I didn't have booties. And there was no glove that small. I mean, I think I actually got glove probably 16, but from twelve to 14, I, you know, I was bodyboarding with quite cold hands, and I never, ever. Well, I've only been wearing a hood the last three years, you know, like a head hood, because now I'm in the UK. But it's. I think people will grow up in very warm places, like Australia or South Africa. Well, it's not always warm in South Africa and Hawaii and Indonesia and, you know, central South America. Central America, sometimes they don't realize. Much easier to move to sur from a cold to one country, then moving from a very hot country and adapting to surfing in Norway or Ireland or things like that. And I think a lot of people don't realize how lucky they are. A lot of my surfing female friends in Australia, sometimes I was part of something very famous in Australia called Surfing Mums, and it's a big association in Australia where everyone who had kids was surf. We meet on the beach with the little babies and kids, and we share our children, and we look at each other's children while the other one has a serf.

[18:37] Sheila: Oh, that's awesome.

[18:38] Aurelie: And that is an amazing initiative that Australia has. Yeah. In Australia, each little beach around had surfing mom, and you just took a membership and you would not. Normally, that's how they did it.

[18:52] Sheila: So it was like before Facebook even sounds like.

[18:56] Aurelie: Or maybe around Facebook, I don't know when it started. I joined only, well, seven, seven years ago for three years.

[19:04] Sheila: Okay, so it might have. And then, so it's literally an organization that can, that you can sign up with and then you show up at a designated time and you all just.

[19:12] Aurelie: And you bring your kids. And then some ladies sometimes go for a swim or a bodyboard or. Some of them just joined for the fun. Some of them go for a run. A lot of them. We were surfing. And you agree how long you surf each and you bring some cream and you give all the, you know, and it's fabulous. After giving birth, first to, to make new friends, but also to go back in the water. And when you're maternity leave and you're with a child all the day at home, you can't really surf when you got a young baby in a pram or on the beach or eating sand and calling and eating wax all the time. So.

[19:44] Sheila: Yeah, that's amazing. I know of people that have done that informally, but that's really cool. That sounds like an organization.

[19:53] Aurelie: I know why I was saying that. A lot of women there or a lot of australian people, they're like, oh, it's raining. I'm not coming in Europe if it's you still surfing, it's raining. I mean, if you never did anything when it's raining in England, you wouldn't do very much in your life.

[20:07] Sheila: Yeah. Did you ever put pour hot water into your wetsuit before you surf?

[20:13] Aurelie: No. No. However, here, since I'm back from Australia, so I moved to Australia in 2007 because they offer me, it was always my dreams, I think, learning to surf and surfing. One day you can imagine yourself living in Hawaii or Australia and, and even, even before you even go there, there's so many books on the fauna and flora. I think on my 16th birthday, my dad bought me the lonely planet on Australia. And, you know, I'd already planned what national parks and where we'll go and where we'll be surfing. But here now I bring a thermos flask of boiling water 100 degrees and a big buck. My wetted bucket is really big enough in it. There used to be my child's bath for camping, a big bucket. So when I come out of the, and the water's 90 degrees, like last Christmas, last January, I put that boiling water in the bucket and cold water till I get the right temperature for my feet. Then I jump in with my wetsuit in that bucket and then that my feet start feeling again after you remove the boots. And then that's the only way I can then get changed without suffering too much, because I, you know, I'm not a 20 year old chicken anymore, and that's why I need a hood, because I suffer a little bit off surface ears. You know, we left a long time in England or France, and you didn't know about surface ears, and you didn't wear earplugs. Then 20 years later, you start having sinus pain and ear pain. I'm sure you do this in northern California as well.

[21:45] Sheila: Definitely. I had some of that where I started, and, yeah, it's definitely a shout out to you. Cold water hardy surfers. And I've been in it, too, and so many of us are. I'm so spoiled living in Hawaii, and I'm aware of it all the time. I went back and visited Humboldt county, where I learned to surf. And it's just a terrifying, freezing cold, thundering, thumping, horrifically heavy wave almost all the time. And I just watched it. I showed my daughter how beautiful it was, and we looked at the redwoods and. But I did not paddle out. And I think of it. I dream of it sometimes because it was just such an incredible. That was. I started at 36 and was just literally called, I need to have you write down that french phrase, because I definitely fell into the potion, but it was, yeah, just the heaviness of it. It's hard to. If you have never surfed cold water, it is hard to understand how dense that water is. There's a molecular thing, and someday I'll look up why. But literally, when that wave falls on your head, it is a different experience. And you're talking about going in six to eight, we talking feet or feet.

[23:02] Aurelie: Yeah.

[23:03] Sheila: So even if that's, you know, learning to duck dive in that and, yeah, getting drilled by that heavy, heavy water, trying to punch through it, and then when you're held down, it's black, you know, black and cold, and you feel the weight on your chest. It's cold water. Surfing has a terror level. I surfed for, you know, I just went at it super hard for, like, six months, and then I went to Costa Rica. Oh, I love it. In my first year. And then I was. I was out at Costa Rica, and I was paddling, like, what's missing? What's missing? What's missing? Oh, fear of death. Fear of death is missing because it was also not big, but I, you know, it was warmer. It just wasn't completely. And so my first six months of surfing, I was terrified of dying on a regular basis, which I found really helpful at the time because I was really depressed, so it kind of snapped me out of it. There's something about having that critical experience. So, yeah, I love the way that you've transformed your surfing and adapted. So, okay, you sent me this beautiful story, which I'm not going to reveal all of, but because we don't have time to go into all of it. Just list the places you've surfed because you have had an extraordinary surf journey, and then, you know, you don't have to. If you forget a couple, that's okay. But you've really surfed a lot of amazing places. And I would love to know where was your absolute favorite, if you can name one.

[24:31] Aurelie: Okay, this is very tricky. Very good question, Shayla. Really good question. I trained to become a languages teacher, and my parents, I was extremely lucky that they took me all around the world from very young age, backpacking all the time. Although they probably had the budget to stay in luxurious place, they always wanted to experience each country the same way as the population lives it. And usually, if we were going to poor countries, they will find it quite shocking to stay in the most luxury places when the population doesn't even have enough to survive or to live decent lives. So I served in Europe a little bit, but I was very lucky after, well, that dream of New Zealand, Australia was still there in my heart since I was a teenager. Due to that, I trained to become a teacher because I knew that I could move to one of those fabulous destinations to live and experience it. So I kind of chose my career also to suit my traveling desires and my traveling passion. And I just also really like students, and I like sharing experiences. And I just thought because my parents talked to me in English from a young age, that has opened a lot of doors for traveling for me. And I thought maybe I should share that gift of languages to other students and realize the world is a lot bigger out there. And by learning a foreign language, you can adapt and discover the rest of the world and see in a different light. So after three years teaching in the UK, I was ready to move to New Zealand or Australia. And I met a really lovely surfer who also liked traveling and was local in the UK, where I lived in Cornwall. And I kind of, after testing our relationship in France from the safe beaches around Ossegor, well, so we booked flight tickets to Indonesia. And it was probably the most incredible experience of my life because it's so varied and there's so many different religions. The landscapes are stunning, and I think you could go every year of your life till you die and still not see all the islands of Indonesia. But in 2005, when I was ready to leave England to move to New Zealand, Australia, I met the father of my son. And we decided after that trip in Indonesia in summer, he didn't tell me, but he quit his job working for a surf magazine at the time. And I was stuck in an island with no Internet in Indonesia, and there were storms. And at the time, you know, it was the dialing Internet. And I had no Internet for three weeks. And I thought, well, I've not heard from him, so maybe he didn't really like crossing Indonesia with me and surfing all these amazing waves, and maybe, I don't know. And when I arrived home, he said, I quit my job, we're going around the world. And he went on his knees and he said, would you go around the world with me, surfing and discovering this beautiful planet? And that was one of the best days in my life. So we went to Costa Rica first. The first place we landed was Costa Rica, like you. And we were supposed to take Sri Mont in Costa Rica, but instead we thought it was a little bit touristy, and there was quite a lot of Americans and they spoke a lot of English, and being a spanish teacher, just wanted to get in there. So we went to El Salvador and we serve beautiful rites next to Lali Peltad, El Zonte, Zunzal and all that area. And then we went to Honduras, Guatemala, Panama, Nicaragua, Costa Rica and Panama. And we met some amazing english friends who actually set us up together. We were also going around the world and we spent a lot of time with them. Panama, Costa Rica. We really, really like malpais in Costa Rica. And Santa Teresa was a very hippie, chill place where people were local, or expats were baking their own organic bread and making their own yogurts. And people were playing music on the beach and the surf was amazing. Panama was amazing as well. There was so little amount of tourism and no one spoke English. So you really had that direct contact with the population. Then we went to Hawaii, north shore, Oahu. The only problem is our budget was only 20 pounds a day, and oahu at that time, in 2006 was quite expensive. So, you know, it has not gotten cheaper then what you spend in a month in Costa Rica in ten days or a week in Oahu. So we were supposed to stay a lot longer in Hawaii, but we really could not afford it. And we decided to save money to fly to Sydney a bit earlier in Australia and treated ourselves to a nice place in manly rather than being in backpackers like in Oahu. And then we went to Nias. We instead of staying in Hawaii, we were going to Indonesia anyway. And instead of staying in Bali we thought where would we really want to go? And we had that we had seen in magazine that wave near us, that beautiful, perfect barreling, light, long wave with those palm trees in the background. And at that time, because there had been the tsunami in 2004, I think it was, I think it was maybe December, November, December. Do you remember when the tsunami was?

[29:50] Sheila: I don't, I don't.

[29:51] Aurelie: I think it was end of tsunami 2004. And we had actually, when we met we had been going to a concert to raise money for Indonesia and Nias because of that the island got really damaged, the bridges and everywhere. But the wave worked even better and the reef raised and come out of the water more, meaning the wave was even working at two 3ft and I wouldn't want to serve Nia six 8ft. I think I would die. It's a very, very powerful wave and it becomes a beast when it becomes too big. Oddly enough, there's been a lot of NGO's in the US for many years. You know why I refer to NGO's that we say non governmental organizations.

[30:31] Sheila: Oh, okay.

[30:32] Aurelie: And like, you know, the Red Cross and all these to help after the tsunami. But it's kind of changed atmosphere. Nias and the locals are not as friendly as a lot of area of Indonesia, but the waves are amazing. So Nias is definitely for any women or men listening to us one day on this podcast. Nias is quite a special place. It's just the landscape in the wave and that's the only place I think I got really nice barrel in my life. I'm trying, many, many years later I'm still trying to get into a barrel like this. But we also went to the mental wise but not on that trip. We went to Sri Lanka, we went to New Zealand in a van, cold water. Surfing Dunedin kora is one of the most beautiful surf spot in New Zealand.

[31:20] Sheila: This is like a surf, a travelogue which obviously you could write. I mean, what a dream that you got to do this. And there must have been. How many women did you encounter during this journey?

[31:36] Aurelie: During that journey there was quite a few expand tourists surfing Costa Rica and Panama and then Australia. When we were surfing Australia, women everywhere in the water. And what I loved about Australia is that you love people who are 80 years old surfing and there's love old what? Let's say there's a lot of senior women in the surf in Australia, and I think that's the only country in the world where I experience three years old with 70 years old, all sharing waves together. In New Zealand. I didn't bump into many women's earthers, however, very funny. You know how the world is. We are all connected, and we. This world, you think is so big, you have all these flight tickets for twelve months, but you just. It's this very tiny planet, really. And when we arrive at that stunning place in Kora in New Zealand, it was freezing. I didn't have gloves. We just arrived from Bali. We're all tan. It's winter in New Zealand. We arrived from surfing in Louatu at 28 degrees water to sleeping in a van minus three in Christchurch and going snowboarding the week after, and then going surfing at Kakura. And when I arrived in Kekura, there was a woman surfing, and she was just getting changed in a wetsuit. And we were both talking, and then she had a funny accent. So did I. And we chat for a while, maybe 20 minutes, and then we said to each other in English, where are you from? You sound weird. Yeah, where are you from? You sound weird. And we ended up being both French speaking in English, but we're both French. And this lady, Cecile, was French from the Alps, but she was living in New Zealand and surfing a lot in New Zealand, and she has an amazing level of surfing. And she then got the board bag out of the car. And then I looked at the board bag and I said, where do you find a bashi Basser board bag before? Because that's a board bag from Cornwall, in England, where I used to work when I was 17 years old in a surf shop. And she said, it belongs to my partner. It was Cornish. And I knew a partner, and he was a friend of mine.

[33:40] Sheila: Oh, how funny.

[33:43] Aurelie: We got invited and we stayed for day with them. Surfing New Zealand. Sport around there. And, yeah, I think now to summarize, because this was very long, sorry, I think my favorite country around the world in the more in the more western world will be New Zealand for the landscape and the people, and also the fact that people are very close to nature. I think the environment is very important for them. I think they also. It's as if they were a bit behind in many ways compared to Europe, with technology and consumption and, you know, having the latest iPhone or the latest car, the latest tv, and all the people we met in New Zealand, I don't know if it was just luck or they were really interested in the environment. They fished a lot. They grow their own. They grew their own food. They really were conscious of the environment. So that was. Yeah. And in the. Maybe, you know, the other countries, I think Indonesia is definitely. That's a place. Weirdly enough, my mum always said when you travel, you should never return to a place because you will always compare again. If you have a magic experience or magical experience, you should always seek further and elsewhere and different. But there's a place I always go back to in Indonesia, and I've discovered a few islands that are not very famous for surfing. Although, you know, I've discovered a fabulous place, and I've got a good friend who lives there now. And even my son's got nanny there. So we've been going a lot and spending 5 seconds.

[35:17] Sheila: That's amazing. Well, maybe when you introduce the ocean into the equation, you're always going to have a different experience, you know, so there's another magic that could happen, especially if you're going to another island. That's a whole other story. So. Okay, I am curious for you. So you clearly just had that, you know, drive from early on. I love that you shaped your life around it. You know, did you encounter. Were there moments of discouragement for you or you're always fired up because you were surfing around boys, men you had to work for, equipment, you were cold. What was that experience like for you? What? You know, did you ever lose your drive at all or have moments where you thought maybe you lost your stoke or just, you know, what's kind of kept you connected all these years?

[36:10] Aurelie: For sure, there's been moments of massive doubts and wanting to quit surfing forever. Sometimes thinking, why am I not just playing tennis like everyone else or just going to a yoga class indoor, where it's warm and it's not dependent on the weather? Because Brittany is not just like New South Wales in Australia, where you get surf almost every single week of the year. You know, in Britain, you have to drive. There was no webcam. There was no Internet. You had to know the tide. You had to know the swell. You had to look at all the marine charts and listen to the radio for, you know, the force gale. And. And so, of course, there were so many driving sessions and. And spending a whole day looking for waves and coming home so disappointed. And when I moved to England, trying to be a teacher before moving to Australia, so many sessions where wind on shore and their beach breaks, where it's really messy and it takes you forever to get at the back. And there's been, oh, I could not even count. I think it will be much more than on my ten fingers, on my two hands. How many times I just thought, this is it. I've had enough putting all this gear on to be only 15 minutes in the water an hour because my feet are so frozen, even with boots I walk on the toes and I'm not even feeling my feet and I'm falling. And sometimes it's just so you feel so down, you think, and gone, I've been surfing for sometime, it was more than 15 years or ten years. And you have the worst surf in your life and you catch a wave and you think, why do I bother? You know, you just think maybe I should just keep on swimming in a pool and just do my 2 km swimming and then go home, have a hot shower done, you know, because you just. Surfing is one of those sport you get the highest highs. Can you say that in English? The highest highs.

[38:00] Sheila: The highest highs, yeah.

[38:02] Aurelie: And the lowest.

[38:04] Sheila: What would turn it around for you is to get you back. Is it a good session or just that in that sort of consistency?

[38:15] Aurelie: I think I've snowboard as well. And ten years ago I learned kitesurfing. But I had a kitesurfing accident, an injury which stopped me surfing for years and actually doing any sports. I was really unwell, had real serious back issues, which really, really put me down and maybe a little bit depressed due to that. It's made me now that after that I rehabilitated myself. But it's been a long journey. It's been ten years of training and doing physio and osteopathy and acupuncture and massage and pilates and not surfing for years. And it's actually when I was pregnant that someone really helped me in my back and I was able to surf for the first time in three years. But to go back to what you said, there's so many sessions where you just think, I've had enough. That was mainly in winter and mainly in cold water. In Australia I've had a few sessions, I thought, oh yeah, that wasn't great. But never in Australia did I ever wanted to quit surfing. But sometimes when the condition is not that great. And nowadays, as you said earlier, when we get older and we have kids or a job, we're not 18 and 16 anymore with all free time in your hands. So the session are sometimes you haven't got as much time to dedicate. And if you have a really bad session, you feel even worse because you haven't got just enough time to give it in. However, I think I'm a very strong cookie, and there's something I have. I believe I'm quite resilient. And I just kept on going even though I thought, oh, I've had enough. A few weeks later, I just look at the. At the swell or the cam and just go again and again. And then, you know, you will get another nice session, and you're like, oh, no, I'm not quitting. You'll have another nice surf, and you'll be like, and also, sometimes you're in the water and you don't have a. You don't have many waves, or there's too many people in the water, or you're not paddling well or your waves are not good. But each time I'm in the water, even in winter, I just feel so grounded. It's. I think it's almost going back to the source. It's part of. So part of who I am being in the water. And when the surf is not very good, I go for a swim or put my wetsuit on. And in Australia, I was doing quite a lot of beach swims between different beaches. You know, I think you really nailed it.

[40:41] Sheila: It's that going back to the source, and I think that's the potion that we drink. You know, once you've connected with that source and, you know, different. Different levels, different ages, different times, you know, it can be. It can be scary. You know, I've talked to people who feel like they've lost their stoke, they've lost that, and it's like losing your faith. It's like having a moment where you think, I don't have this connection to source anymore. And all the stuff that can go on in your head, you know, especially for those of us who, even though I have been surfing forever, you know, for 21 years, I sometimes look like it's my first week. And I'm not kidding. I mean, there's just times where I have a total, especially on a shortboard. I just have a full bambi session, like, baby, you know, baby Jerrel. Like, the knees won't work. It's just. In fact, right now, I'm working on only my short board pop up. That's all I do. I just only work on that. But I'm 56. I am, like, did not. I used to do a lot of yoga, but that ended with being a single mom and doing, you know, everything for her and me and everything, like, and also my energy and the way I focus on things is different. You know, even in 2017, I moved back to Hawaii and I would get up and run in the morning. Menopause happened. That's a trip. Um, that's like something.

[42:03] Aurelie: Is it good in itself?

[42:04] Sheila: That is a weird experience. Things start happening to your body that you're like, what is going on? And different. Some of. Some of them are great. Um, and some of it is just. Is not. And some of it is. Is weird. But I think the, um, the. What I really feel is there's a different kind of drive. Like, I have a consistent consistency, but I don't always have that oomph. Like, I don't just get up in the morning, I have energy. But, yeah, it's hard to describe. It's subtle. So I'm kind of have recalibrated and I've noticed if I just sink my teeth into something, like, I am going to learn to pop up correctly. Well, and here's another thing I never knew because I started 36 and when I started, it was just big closeouts. I didn't even know what surfing was. I just went on some terrifying, massive thing that was like eight to 10ft, sometimes twelve foot faces as a beginner. And I would just go. And a lot of the waves closed out. So I didn't really know there was much else to do except survive. Right. You know, I would just. But I was fearless. I would just go on these things and get worked and held down and, you know, then I ended up having my daughter within a couple of years and that changed how much I could. So, you know, long story short, I never worked on a lot of technique. I never cared what I looked like. You know, I just want to be able to catch waves. I only care because of the pecking order. I only care that I can catch waves. Like, that's the only reason I cared about, you know, being better. But being in Hawaii with this incredible level of surfing, like, it does wake up that competitive piece, not so much to show. And then people take pictures and you're like, oh, God, you know, did I?

[43:48] Aurelie: I really didn't want to ask a question. Yeah, I want to ask.

[43:52] Sheila: But suddenly I realized, and this is partly I learned from Vanessa's women who surf group. Like, I didn't know. It never occurred to me to try to watch videos and learn how to surf. Like, never thought about doing that. So now I'm like, oh, my God, I found this great video about popping up and who would think I would need to study popping up after all this time? But I mostly surf an eight foot board. So the short board thing, although I've dabbled with it over time, I certainly never mastered it. And suddenly I'm having this huge breakthrough because I'm discovering this piece. And that is one thing about surfing that I want to ask you about too, that you never learn how to do it, so, you know, it's never ending. You know, how has your. And I'm curious for you if you've struggled with your level, because I imagine at times you've probably had a very high level of skill and done some amazing things and had those moments on a wave and then through injury and age, you know, and motherhood, like not being able to surf four sessions a day or three sessions a day in perfect waves, obviously you're going to surf differently. How? I'm assuming as somebody who had a pretty high level of surfing, how have you managed your roller coaster through that process?

[45:16] Aurelie: Yeah, in the past few years. This is a beautiful simile or metaphor, but, yeah, it's weird because it was almost like my surfing decline in my surfing has been following also the decline in the past few years in my life have been difficult. And moving from Australia to back to the UK, I didn't want to do that and I felt kind of pressurized and cornered and it's a long story, but, yeah, moving from in Australia, I was surfing four or five times a week. I was also younger. It was before motherhood, but even when my baby was little, part of these surfing women, when you have. When you know you can have your child and so many kids surf there, the community is huge and we were living on the beach so we could walk to the surf or be really quick. So obviously I was surfing a lot and I had much more free time in my work. Teaching in Australia is a lot less stressful than in here in England, there's a lot more hours and we have a lot less time in the week to prepare a lesson. So the timetable is a lot busier and there's a lot more marking and a lot more expectations. So it's different. It's different. But as you said, you know, when you're twenties and thirties and you have so much more free time and you are, you know, I remember when went to the mental wise for a surf from Australia, I had six, nine months to train just to be able to surf on that trip the best, possibly because I knew it's quite big and I wanted to make the most of it. We didn't go in July because it's too big in July when in April. But nevertheless, I was able to swim in the pool or in the sea two, three times a week, and I was really fit at the time. But as you said, it's so hard when you have a full time job. And I'm also a recently separated mum, so there's time when you have your child on your own. And I'm very lucky. He likes the ocean, he's a good swimmer and he's now surfing a little bit. But after injury it's quite hard because you've been already down because you've been in pain and then you first didn't know how to manage your pain. But little by little, you've got to learn to listen to your body, and that sometimes means not being in the water. And for me, I couldn't kite surf for ten years. And I've just very recently had two positive experiences, kitesurfing, which I said to myself last year, okay, this summer, last August, months ago, I thought if I kite surf and I get pain again in my back and it keeps me out of the water for surfing or anything else or yoga for months, then I'm selling my gear. And weirdly enough, last August, 4 weeks ago, I cake surf twice in one week. And I had a little bit of pain, but only an hour pain, half an hour. And the ice helped it. But indeed you're scared. I think when you've had a chronic injury, your brain goes in a protection mode and you are aware that, okay, right, today's four foot an hour and a half. I think I'll have to stop there because otherwise my body is going to hurt for a few days. So I think pain is also in the brain and it takes a very long time to mentally accept it and almost not enjoy it, but almost accept it a bit like in yin yoga, or listen to your body and not criticizing it and not be, not be victimizing yourself from your own pain. I don't think I'm making sense.

[48:42] Sheila: No, you're making a lot of sense. It's like a humility. And it's funny because it's a humility that you have to bring to the ocean at some point, and it's like you're turning that humility onto yourself and into grace in that way. And it's weird with surfing because you constantly have to push yourself. But I know for me, I had to learn, especially learning in such dangerous places. And, you know, being so much older, I was really fit in with yoga. I was, you know, really strong and flexible, but I was very stupid. And I, you know, put myself in. I could. There's. You know, I have one story. I cannot believe what I did. It was so unbelievable that I lived like it was. I really put myself in a terrifying position, and I was taught humility by the ocean. But you're. And I had to really learn to find my inner voice. What was. What was pushing and what was pushing beyond? So it kind of sounds like that's a place you found in this. You may not have had to do it so much because you grew up surfing, you had so much strength and so much adventure, but now kind of coming into that place of, like, really having to listen to your body in a new way and listen to accepting limitations with humility.

[50:04] Aurelie: And I think, yeah, anyone who's had a chronic injury or illnesses or anything, and they realize they cannot do what they love. Or if they do, they can still do it, but they have to take it easy. They can't be as extreme. And I'm sure when you first started surfing, same as me, when I first arrived in Indonesia, even though I could surf Beach Bay quite well, it's another matter, surfing on coral reef or. And that's why I want to ask you about. You move to Hawaii, because when you surf in northern California and how cold water is always, I just find big size in cold water, it's much more intimidating than big size in tropical, clear, see through water, and our body really gets impacted and suddenly it's more scary. I find I'm not at ease as much in big surf in winter when it's really cold and it's dark compared to warm, tropical, even a bit bigger. But, yeah, I'll ask you in a minute about your move because Hawaii would have been such a learning curve for you, you know?

[51:05] Sheila: Oh, definitely. Yeah, definitely, yeah, no, I. Definitely. Well, no, I'll answer that now. So I surfed, really for about a year in Humboldt county, and then I moved down to LA. So I surfed La county for another year. And that was actually really funny when I first moved down because I remember surfing county line, and I surfed an eight fort board at the time, which is still my favorite. I had a boyfriend who shaped me an eight foot fun board and which, like an idiot, I sold because it had all this love inscription. And then I fell in love with someone else, and I learned a lesson. I must say to all women, never get rid of your magic boards. I don't care who gave them to you. Do not allow nostalgia to enter into it. And if. Yeah, if anyone ever wants you to get rid of your board. And it was magic.

[51:52] Aurelie: So maybe if a guy asks us to get rid of a board, we might have to reconsider the guy.

[51:57] Sheila: Exactly. Exactly. Know what? In fairness, the guy didn't, you know, ask me to. But it was just a weird. I was like, oh, you know, I had gotten divorced actually, like a year before that, and I had thrown my wedding ring into the ocean, which I did find cathartic. Although I did later think I could have at least sold the gold, you.

[52:18] Aurelie: Know, and gone trip somewhere.

[52:22] Sheila: Yeah, exactly. Like, that was stupid. But anyways, I could be impulsive. So I remember surfing at county line and, I don't know, it was maybe six or seven foot faces, but it was nothing to me. I mean, not nothing, but it was not very scary. The sets were maybe six or 7ft and the rest of the time it was like 4ft, whatever. So that was just not scary to me. And it's not like I was doing anything amazing and look like an incredible surfer. I mean, a lot of times I would just go straight or fall off, but I would go. And I just remember this guy coming up to me afterwards and going, wow. I'm like, oh, really? But I. Since then, I, you know, think I've been much more humbled and then. But, yes, moving to reef. So the other thing is, I had a wetsuit and I got injured all the time. I got whacked with my board cut, I got concussions, I got my head sliced open. I was just mess. And when you learn as an adult, it's a nightmare in a lot of ways, especially in heavy surf, you're just. It's just one thing after another because you're such a clutch, you know, you're like, you have no idea. And even though I kind of understood the ocean, you know, the very first thing I did was walked out in. In Whitewater. So where I learned it was beach break. Like just long rolling columns of white water. So just mostly you just learned in foam for a long time because you couldn't even get out past the whitewater. It was, you know, not every day, but a lot of times it was just too much. So I went, you know, walking out, pushing my board out with a foam, and it comes huge foam ball and slams my board right into my face, you know, almost knocks my teeth out. Like, you know, that was just one of many things. The learning curve is steep. So, you know, and you're just not quite as resilient as you are, you know, I mean. Oh, gosh. So the wetsuit had a lot of protection is what I was going to say. So when I first moved to the reef wave and Hawaii island, the big island, is not known for surf the way that, you know, it tends to be smaller. It's very reefy and rocky, and every place is kind of scary, like, especially when the tide gets lower. So. And the other thing is the wave just, you have to take off where it feels like the wave is falling on your head, which is really scary. It's just very different. You don't have the shoulder. Um, so very different kind of surfing altogether. And, you know, the reef cuts. I mean, I have given blood and frequently give blood to the reef as you get it drilled and your board gets crunched and, you know, just even sometimes paddling out, like, I just crashed my fins coming in the other day because I was too lazy to paddle out another way and hit a rock coming in. Lose fins all the time. But, of course. So, I mean, there's a, there's a. There's an intensity that happens with a reef wave that's very different than, you know, a sandbar wave. Sandbar waves can be super scary and fast and, and all of that, but there's still. There's something about the reef. Well, another thing that was funny is when I first moved here, and my boyfriend at the time, he, who is hawaiian, he would say, like, or he would be telling me to look for marks below the, you know, to landmarks and looks for rocks. But I was used to black water. Like, I wasn't used to being able to see anything, so I just kept forgetting to do that. Like, I couldn't really find that, you know, that, and then I would accidentally, like, choose a fish, you know, as a, like, oh, that yellow thing. Oh, that was a tang. It moved. There's so much in your story, and, oh, my gosh, I could keep asking you questions. I think that I do want to ask you if you could name, you know, is there, is there. It doesn't have to do with just one, but is there a core that you've brought from your surfing into your life that, you know, you could name something that surfing has brought you either transformation or just a superpower in your life that you draw from surfing?

[56:18] Aurelie: This is a really good question. I believe. I think I found surfing as a lifestyle and as a sport has an incredible connection to the mind and, and anxiety. And also, now there's been research done where people have been surfing with some captors and magnet on their head, and they've been also showing that surfing really help people who have post traumatic disorders, trauma and anxiety. And the research the past few years have shown that people with real big stress in people, that really difficult lives really benefit from being in the surf. And in England, there's something very, very big. They have a lot called the Waif Project, which is a charity which helps children up to 1820 who have either disabilities or have had trauma or having very severe or any anxiety can go surfing and they get referred by a doctor or school teachers. And then that charity in the UK try to get money for each of these children. And because of the lockdown and the COVID we have a lot more children who have experienced poverty, or there's a lot more domestic and home abuse around Europe, I think, or the UK. And the wave project takes all these children on weekends surfing, and we give them wetsuits and tops and there's a surf teacher with us and then we push them. So we all get one child and then we push them on board or we help them serve. But what you're saying is so incredible, because of all the sports I've done, there's never been one that has kind of played with my brain in such way that you can feel so proud and so having that you want to sing for a week after your best session. And my best session was last Wednesday. So three days ago, I had my best session in the UK in four years. And every element just, wow. It was my birthday this week as well. And I turn a big age of an important age. I turned 40 and I don't know, on Wednesday was my day off, so I taught Pilates in the morning and I checked, I knew the surf was going to be good, but I had a huge list of things to do from my day to day job, which is secondary school teaching in a level. And I had a huge list of things to do. Then I had a wonderful call from Australia for my birthday and then my mum called me and then my best friend in France, and I was sitting at the sun outside. Then I thought, right, I need to get some is what I need to do. But then I unfortunately put the webcam on and so the surf was five foot and clean, no wind and blue sky. And I thought, hang on, winter is about to come here. You only get one chance in life. You just don't know what's going to happen tomorrow. So I jump in my car, just look at my watch, and I thought, I have just enough time before I pick up my son at childcare to per session in there. And I don't know what that day was, I never caught them any waves in my life, even more than Australia or Indonesia. And it was not that busy in the middle of the afternoon and I had to leave before the crowds arrived in the evening. And there was someone there with chat and he came in the session, he said, wow, this is amazing. I don't even live in Cornwall, I've never had surf. I said, it's not like this every day, mates. This is not the regular everyday, but, you know, sometimes you have all these elements. But anyway, I'm going to web. So the skills that it's given me in my personal life, it can be good and bad, but to be resilient and continue surfing in difficult condition, I think it's taught me to never give up. And sometimes it's a bad thing because I'm very stubborn and there's positive, obviously, of everything. There's also negative of being very stubborn. And I remember a few times when I have a challenge in my personal life, or there's something not going the way you want, or you're trying something that doesn't quite work, or you're trying to do something completely new. Sometimes I just think, hang on, remember when you were about to turn around in big surf, or any surf, and you can't get at the back and you're about. You could try 45 minutes to gather back and you still can't get there and you get really annoyed, you're so exhausted. You've talked I 40 time. You're frustrated, you have breath, you're cold, and you just say, one more go, one more go. I'm going to try one more time. Come on, come on. I can do this. I've been surfing a long time. I'm strong paddler. Come on. I need to dog dive more and a bit faster. Please, please, please. I want to get at the back and catch some clean waves. And I think that that thing, that power not to let go and just continue and try one more time. I think I've kept that in my normal life.

[01:01:06] Sheila: Oh, my gosh.

[01:01:07] Aurelie: And it's a good thing, but sometimes my son will say, oh, no, she never gives up. And she's asked me to do something and I don't do it. She's going to be on my back and ask me again and again and again. And at the same time, in teaching, I don't give up on people. So some kids will say to you, or, I'm dumb, or my parents say, I can't do this, or, I believe I can't do that. And I've read a lot on growth mindset and I will just try to teach them that everything's possible as long as first they believe they're positive and they try. I mean, it's not just closing your eyes and dreaming to all become a world champion in any sport that's going to happen. But, you know, if you already enjoy something, you have to believe and you have to be willing to try.

[01:01:51] Sheila: That is the perfect place to end this. It's just such a great button on everything. Thank you so much. It's an incredible message and I love that you see the different sides of it because it's true that never giving up can also end us dragged into terrifying territory, but overall has the most profound rewards of all time. So I've even stepped on your beautiful closing. I'm just going to say thank you so much for being on this podcast because it was so much fun.

[01:02:29] Aurelie: I'm so delighted that you posted this message and that you've been wishing to create something for the community of women in surfing and sports and empowerment, which is not just for women, for anybody who wish to talk and listen about the ocean and surfing and the power of passion, but the power of passion. But I just think you have a wonderful idea and I think it's going to be. I'm delighted and so, so happy that you invited me to come to your podcast. I hope. I feel very lucky to be part of this.

[01:03:10] Sheila: Oh, thank you so much. It was wonderful.